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Well for my first ever blog I couldn't resist writing about a topic that has been running around in my head for a while now. That of course is the Olympics. My first idea was to write about the commonly debated topic of what sports should or shouldn't be included in the Olympic games. I soon realised, however, that once I got started writing on this topic there would be a chance that I wouldn't stop writing and this short blog would soon become a 14 volume encylopedia.

So I had another idea. I would write about a new Olympic event that should be included in every Olympic games from now on. I don't know what this event would be called. Perhaps it shouldn't have a name as no human word could do justice to the greatness of this event.

The purpose behind this event would be to establish the most athletic mammal on earth (I don't think us humans should discriminate so I think that any mammal should be allowed to enter as long as they can qualify and correctly fill in the appropriate entry forms). Athleticism would be defined in terms of strength, speed, power and endurance.

Essentially this event would be similar to a Pentathlon or Decatholon except that it would actually be an good event. Each athlete entering in this event would be required to particpate in every track and field event with the addition of weightlifting. What this means is that they would have to run every Olympic distance from 100 meters to the marathon (including hurdles and steeplechase). They would have to do long jump, high jump and pole vault (triple jump would not be included - I'm knocking it as a sport but it's just not primal enough). They would have to do all the throwing events (i.e. discus, hammer throw and shot put). Finally they would have to do weightlifting (snatch and clean and jerk). Furthermore, all these events have to be done in the same day.

There would obviously have to be some sort of points system to establish a ranking and determine the winners. I haven't fully figured out yet how this would work but am open to suggestions.

The male and female winner of this event would be crowned the offical Olympic King and Queen, receiving crowns in addition to medals. They would officially be granted the status of greatest athlete in the world and given votes at United Nations meetings. It would be illegal for anyone to suggest that they were a greater athlete that the current Olympic King or Queen, with the punishment for such an offence being a minimum of four years in prison plus the offender having his or her legs broken to prevent them from participating in future athletic pursuits.

If any readers out there agree with this idea for the greatest ever sporting event in history, I suggest we start a petition and send it directly to Baron de Coubertin himself. I believe it's not to late to have this event included at Beijing.

In other matters, Nick Buck is having a birthday around this time.